One day, I spoke with a friend that I had not kept in touch with for years. The friendly chat about life in general and being in a foreign country changed to a more serious one about careers, frustrations, and plans for the future.
She asked me what I wanted to do; my plans. I said I wanted to be a social entrepreneur, then dodged the questions about the specifics with vague, non-answer answers.
You see, I have always had big dreams. No, actually I have always had almost-too-ridiculously-BIG-dreams, that I rarely tell anyone about. Not because they were really ridiculous; not because they were selfish or absurd. What really scared me was failure–and what everyone else might have to say about my dreams and consequent failure.
So I figure it was better not to say them out loud. Makes perfect sense, right? No? What, I’m being fucking vague again? Well–
You see, I had always thought that I would be one of the many “movers and shakers” of my generation (vanity, mayhaps?).
I thought I’d known that I–just like many others–have this special calling, a purpose. I wanted to inspire the world at least half as much as it has inspired me. I wanted to to give back to a nation that, although often seen as a 3rd world mess, has given me the experiences and values that had made me into the person that I am now. But as much as this desire to do something had been nagging me for years, there’s this little voice that silently asks, “But what could you do? You are just you. A 23 year old, without any real influence.” It was a small voice, but it resonated like the voice of reason.
I’d say to myself, Maybe one day, when you are in the position to do something, because right now I am powerless. Right now, I can’t do anything. I have no influence.
Am I really that powerless though? Or is it an excuse? Is it really just something I tell myself so I won’t feel bad about not even trying?
Not too long ago, I was reading a local weekly paper when I chanced upon one of the featured people from the community. Eleven year old Nathaniel Crossley, a 6th grade student, is a humanitarian. At 11, he has been raising funds to build water wells in Tanzania and is one of impossible2Possible’s inspirational ambassadors. He was eleven–a 6th grade student.
The truth is, I am not as powerless as I make myself believe. No, I will not be able to initiate a huge change overnight, but I can do something right now. Anyone can, and it all starts with commitment. I never had the courage to say my hopes out loud; I was always too hesitant to reach out and share my visions and dreams because I knew that if I did, I would have to truly commit to it.
I am a person with many big dreams. I want to help better the world; help others see that the future is not so bleak. I want to help give hope–even if it means making a difference to one person at a time.
I don’t know how to make this happen; I don’t have my plans laid out, but this is me committing to a purpose. This is me, taking a pre-calculated plunge into a mission that I am truly passionate about.
I love your honesty in your post. I think this is something that we all go through and I have learnt that sometimes small steps are better than no steps. All the best with your hopes and dreams 🙂
Love this! It’s so difficult sometimes to quiet that voice that says “you can’t do it” – I myself have struggled with this, as I desperately want to become a freelance writer as well as publish my own books, but I’m scared of failure. How silly to be scared of something that happens even to the most successful people in the world! Working on self-love has been helping me overcome my “I can’t do it” voice, and hopefully someday soon, I’ll have what I dream of.
The fear of failure is normal, I guess. But it shouldn’t get in the way of trying. That’s why I decided that from now on, I’m committing head on.
I can totally relate to this! I am going through a similar “passion” journey but in my case I have no idea what my “calling” is yet! hehe You at least have a wonderful starting point so all you need to do is work out the minor details to becoming influential on a grander scale! Don’t forget though that even the smallest person can create change in the world. 🙂
I have this problem with thinking small, I keep thinking that to make a difference or be part of a change it has to be something BIG. Thanks for reminding me that it doesn’t have to be.
Don’t we all! I have some pretty lofty dreams that I debated keeping to myself. I fear I’ll fail and then not being taken seriously the next time. The truth is, if you really want something you have to put it out there. Some of your dreams are going to fail, but you learn from those failures and attack the next one stronger and wiser. Just never stop dreaming!
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” – Epictetus
Thank you! I guess we all just have to remind ourselves that these fears are normal and even the best of us have these fears too. And to some extent, it’s good because it keeps us all in check, and reminds us not to be so careless. But too much of that fear and it can hold you back!
Simply: I love this.
Wow. I just found this post and am really in love with this idea. You have it so right! We all have a purpose and we all have the potential to do great things! It can be scary telling others about our hopes and dreams, I am lucky enough to have my husband who believes in me and my dreams and goals, but before I had him I dealt with so much negative response to my plans, and still do, it’s just easier to block it out. Many people will come along in life saying that you cannot accomplish what you dream, and you really have to take those kind of things and use them to fuel your passions, to say, I’ll prove them wrong! Good luck in all your dreams and endeavors!!!